Posted July 7Jul 7 I.feel like crying...great cathartic tears..And I don't know why.Do any of you with BPD simply wake up, not having had a nightmare you can recall, no discernable trigger, and you feel...unhinged?My " fractured personality " has me, in combination with all my other dxs leaves me feeling, even after two IP admissions very recently, " unstable"..I assure you all I am safe, just...miserable...
July 7Jul 7 I wish there was something I can say to help you but I don't have experience in this. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I'm sending prayers your way.
July 7Jul 7 Author 36 minutes ago, Enigma said:I wish there was something I can say to help you but I don't have experience in this. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I'm sending prayers your way.Thank you for caring, and thank you for your prayers.🩷
July 9Jul 9 Author Continuing this thread, hope that's okay.Today, feel, I feel I feel...WHAT do I FEEL??Maybe...I am...ok?No, never, never, never...How did I crash at age l7 to never return from that," first episode "?( Which a doctor INSISTED was due to my using cocaine, which I had NEVER touched.)I thought by this point in my life things would have settled down, and certainly my 40s were quieter...and then, this past year, triggers one day I may write about on the CPTSD board, or the safe zone..As well, the classic, cliche..." Who am I?""How do I make my life better?"Etc...etc...I feel...rigid right now I suppose...A nd beneath that, totally overwhelmed.So many choices.Life was much simpler at age 11 when I was certain of my future as a dancer.My dream.My identity, not only imposed upon me, but by my teachers, DEMANDED of me.And then...I had nothing of myself left.And now they say, "Emotions are like a traffic light."I am exhausted by, saturated with, DBT.I doubt any of this made any sense, but neither does my head...
July 11Jul 11 Hi @Autumn75 Sorry that you have been struggling. I have BPD too and most of the time I feel numb and don't know how I feel.How are you now?
July 13Jul 13 Author On 7/11/2025 at 12:54 PM, Lavender said:Hi @Autumn75Sorry that you have been struggling. I have BPD too and most of the time I feel numb and don't know how I feel.How are you now?Thank you for caring @Lavender I'm sorry you too suffer from BPD,and I can certainly relate to often being numb, unable to define or name the feelings beneath it...Now?Feeling like I am about to implode.Much of this has to do with how I am feeling about myself...my identity, my values...And that I haven't had therapy in weeks...I need thst outlet.Welcome back by the way.🩷
July 13Jul 13 9 hours ago, Autumn75 said:Thank you for caring @LavenderI'm sorry you too suffer from BPD,and I can certainly relate to often being numb, unable to define or name the feelings beneath it...Now?Feeling like I am about to implode.Much of this has to do with how I am feeling about myself...my identity, my values...And that I haven't had therapy in weeks...I need thst outlet.Welcome back by the way.🩷Thank you. It's good to be back.
Create an account or sign in to comment