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Autumn75

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Everything posted by Autumn75

  1. Fred Astaire
  2. I am sorry your son suffers from OCD as well.
  3. Loved, nurtured, safe
  4. Laundry...ugh
  5. Susan Sarandon
  6. Kamloops,British Columbia
  7. No, I am not ashamed of my OCD, but I tend not to share my obsessions with anybody but my pyschiatrist/ therapist whom just happens to be an expert in treating OCD. My obsessions can indeed be horrifying and in my frequent bouts of insomnia,can loop and loop in my head to the pointof an hours long full blown attack of paranoia and panic, until I desperately call Dr S first thing in the morning, frantic andextremely anxious. The ignorance of most people about this illness of mine has led me to edit myself a lot, based on stigmatization, and the fear that if I voiced my ego dystonic ruminations people would believe me to be very disturbed... My OCD is mostly pure obsessional, my compulsions are mostly in my mind, although I check a bit, and am terrified of fire...( check the stove hours after having used ot. Can't use candles, unplug things when I leave my place...) My OCD morphs and mutates, so that just as one obsession dissipates, mostly with the help of Dr S., another simply takes it's place.. My OCD always has latched on gleefully to my eating disorder, which actually fuels it... My OCD is clearly very much a genetic inheritance-father, aunt, brother...perhaps my mum who would be bothered by a single spot on her floors and clean them in the middle of the night... I have great compassion for those of you who also suffer from disturbing intrusive thoughts and inner or outer compulsions... But there is really no shame that ought to be felt by what you do not need to keep trying to cope with on your own. Asking those who care about you to educate themselves is a start( though in some, this is futile) and especially seeking the support of a good therapist of this is possible. There are also good books( I recommend "Brain Lock, published I think in the 90s,which is one I ought to re read) and I have yet to look into a good CBT workbook but encourage this as well, especially if you've no access to a good trained therapist. Forgive me for rambling on, this hits close to home... My OCD will not likely ever see a cure in my lifetime. But there is no shame in the dx. *Ypu are not your thoughts...and thoughts are just thoughts."
  8. When I got " home" tonight I started reading The Book of The Acts of the Apostle's and have taken great comfort and joy in what I have been reading... I am grateful to The Lord for the difficulty I often have to read,( sonething I have loved to do since a child whuch depression had stolen from me)...I have been reading it aloud to myself, finding this helps me concentrate to concentrate better onThe Word of God. Such a blessing!🕊
  9. Iceland
  10. Lemon and turmeric water.
  11. Make a coffee.
  12. Hot and humid...it's been trying to rain...
  13. Fredricton,New Brunswick
  14. Sloth
  15. "You gotta just forget about the past "
  16. @Enigma Thank you for this uncannily apt Scripture you have shared, as well as your own articulate insights. It made me think of this prayer,"...teach me to do thy will, for Thou art my God." And,"...in unforseen events let me not forget that all are sent by you " This has, admittedly, been hard to accept but I am only still learning to surrender my will ti God. Thank you again, God Bless you.🕊
  17. Wednesday 2 July 2025 8:56 AM Good morning from Canada everyone... I dunno what's with my erratic sleep patterns. Two nights in a row I fell asleep easily and then last night tossed and turned for ages. My head started in on me. Looping thoughts, worries, choices, decisions, random nonsensical intrusive thoughts... A nd finally fell asleep, woke myself talking again, it was around 7:30.ish maybe. I had a full breakfast. ED " voice" berating me, screaming at me that everything is " bad for you" is " gonna make you f*t" I pushed through though. Took my.meds, buspirone brain zaps again. Can't really easily define how I am feeling right now, abd I am.sick to d**th of years of " Feelings Wheels "... I just mean...I do not feel a sense of emptiness right now. I definitely haven't had enough coffee. I just...as I saideven in insomnia and nightmares, I am struggling wirh this way or that... I have such a tough time making the simplest of decisions. I tend to allow others to do so for me, then if whatever it is ends up being a bad decision I am.resentful, angry... I feel. . Oh I FEEL I FEEL I FEEL!!! Anyway, other boards on this forum I ought to take advantage of about all I speak of here... I just desperately need to let my feelings( whatever they might be ..) out somwhere... Thank you for reading if you have. Love and Peace and Healing to you all. 🩷🌿🕊
  18. Patty Duke
  19. Lackadaisical
  20. Vermicelli

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